Nollywood Fashion Police | 25 July 2010 04:51 CET

Father forgive them...

By ‘Justice’ Bolatito Adebayo, Prosecuting counsel: Dele Onatade and Oyin Bada-Onime, Photo arrangement : Ekiye Daniel
Baaad girl

Baaad girl

Luciferic slit
So what happens now, if you have to sit on a bike? I'm sure it is either your skirt get torn or the motorcycle manufacturers would have to go back to factory and get you a custom built okada made just for this skirt. This is the meanest skirt on earth. It's so tight and it also has a devilish slit. You have been pronounced guilty and fined N800, 000.

Up Enyimba
Section 23a, of the 1998 bra constitution states “never reveal what should be tucked underneath to all and sundry. This is punishable under section 413 of the 1998 bra constitution. You will be granted bail on the condition that you bring two sureties who have landed properties in Ikorodu axis where you were picked up and they should be civil servants who have attained level 16.

Bush bra
You were nabbed in public showing-off illegal bra straps to all and sundry. It is no longer news that this is a criminal style offence in this jurisdiction. With all authority vested in this court you are hereby mandated to sweep Uwani, New haven and Trans-ekulu in Enugu state for the next six-months.

Baaad girl
Honestly there is no point checking the dictionary for the meaning of appalling, horrifying, disgusting and sickening, because it's all over you. We're sure you made the porn star go green when they saw your act. My jury has pondered endlessly on what to do with you and they have concluded that no amount of fine or punishment would help. So we have decided to take you thorough spiritual cleansing and for the next three months you will be at the Osun shrine where high chief priest Yemi Elebuibon would oversee the rituals that would be performed on you. Afterwards you would be sent to NASFAT headquarters for another three months for Janubar under the strict supervision of Islamic council and another three months at Prayer city with Pastor Olukoya.

Fake fashion
Are we in a frozen food retail shop? Is that pork or chicken lap popping out there? Or you couldn't control your boobs and keep them where they belong. You have been found guilty of tits wandering and fined N900, 000.

Split milk
Madam, why bother about the top when you would eventually pull it so low. You just left your tits out on the loose without any care in the world. That pair should know when it's time for bedtime stories and when they should be kept away from public glare. Investigation also revealed that you got all the men harassed at the scene of the style crime. We are so ashamed on your behalf and hereby sentence you to spend 730 days at kuje prisons which will run concurrently with an option of N5million fine.

Split milk
Fake fashion
Bush bra
Up Enyimba
Luciferic slit

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