Style in shambles

Big sis, do you actually think that opening on your shoulder was to flaunt your Victoria Secrets. Please, we think you should know that was meant to flaunt your shoulder and we forgive you for ruining the concept. Moreover you also wore a necklace on this. Haba! You need no soothsayer to tell you needed no necklace there. Okay we understand you must show-off that piece of jewelry by fire by force. Go and pay a fine of N500, 000.

Drowsy cleavages

You just flouted Section 298 subsection 234 of the moral and cleavage code and this is punishable under the 1990 style act. You are hereby sentenced to spend 24months with hard labour at Olokuta Maximum Prisons in Akure. No option of fine please!

Snoring cleavage

We heard that your tits were actually snoring when you were caught. But why won't they snore when you packaged them in an undignified manner. This is not fascinating at all but rather droopy .For making our lives miserable you have been fined N1.5million.

Gasping cleavage

Why should you make our men salivate just for nothing? Why should you make life miserable for teenage boys? You have been accused of parading two-peeled massive watermelons in public. We have been told that you decided to throw morals into the trashcan and we admit that you have really done it very well. We hereby order the IG of Police to take you down to Koma hills. We are sure when they see you they would all go green with envy, because you have succeeded in doing it better. You have an option of N2million fine.

Weeping cleavage

Girlfriend, for crying out loud you are almost nude. Reports reaching us revealed that the hosts in heaven have been weeping profusely since you left home all dressed like that. The summary of your look can be best described as trashy, scraggly and desperate. Pay a fine of N2million.

No one but you...

Foluke! What came over you? You used to be our model for big and fabulous but we need to tell you that you got it all wrong this time. You need not reveal this fullest of cleavages to everyone, because we know that your kids had more than enough. Or did Dbanj see this before he wrote So endowed? We also detest the overly huge multi-coloured, cheap looking jewelry. We think you have gone beyond that. You have been fined N1million.