Interviews | 13 April 2013 05:09 CET

I regret being a divorcee – Monalisa Chinda

By Benjamin Njoku-Vanguard

Two things are bound to attract you to Monalisa Chinda whenever you are privileged to engage her in a conversation. They are her frankness and humility. These attributes played out last week as Showtime Celebrity took her on a trip into her past, her present and perhaps, her future. For the first time, Lisa bares her mind on a number of issues bothering on her love life, crashed marriage and accomplishments. Chiefly, she confirms that she has found love again, not ruling out however, the possibility of giving marriage a second chance. Enjoy!!!

Find love again

Do you still believe in love ?

I believe in love. Love is the reason for our existence. It's really not enough if you want to get something done, you have to do away with that emotion and be real.

We learnt that you are planning to go into marriage again. Is it true?

I would love to remarry. In fact, I'm designed to be under a man. I'm not going to lie that I like this 'single mother nomenclature. But whereby there is no one at the moment, one is bound to get used to the situation. It's not a 'do- or -die affair' because I have been there before, anything I'm going to do now,it has to be done right.

I'm not in the school of thought, where the first one happened and perhaps, the second one. No, any bold step I have to take in settling down again, it has to be right. I'm not ready to make another mistake. But I will definitely remarry. I believe in the principles of marriage. Whether you like it or not, marriage is a better option.

How soon are you planning to settle down?

I honestly don't know about that, and I can't tell for now.

Have you found love again?

It's neither here nor there. I'm a lover and I love to love.

It was rumoured recently that you have found love again?

Is there anything wrong with that? I just replied you that I love to love. What else do you want to know.

Your fans would want to know if there is any man in your life at the moment?

Yes, there is a man in my life.

…Lanre Nzeribe right?

No comment. This is my private life.

People are alleging that you are pregnant for him?

You can see that I'm not pregnant. Naturally, I'm not pregnant for anybody.

What do you regret most about your past?

One thing I regret most is the fact that I am divorced. Where I come from, I'm the first daughter. I'm from a royal family, it has never been on record in my family that the first daughter will walk out of her matrimonial home. But it was a matter of life and death, otherwise, I would have stayed back and make my marriage work. I tried to make it work, but it takes two people to tango.

That's the only thing I regret, having to raise my child without the father. It's a bit painful. But I have to live with it. It's better that way than to expose my little daughter to all sorts of domestic violence. It will definitely disorient her and affect her upbringing. She will be dis-functional. God knows the best. May be, I should have been more careful.

If your ex- comes back to you today, will you accept him again?

God forbid. He's a closed chapter in my life.

Does it mean your little daughter is not missing her father?

She doesn't know her father . She was barely a year when our marriage crashed. I think she will ask some day.

How do you describe yourself?

I'm just the girl-next-door. I don't have many ears around me, I try to be humble. I want people to be able to reach out to me. I'm not a difficult person. I'm an easy-going lady.

Are you religious?

I'm from a religious background. I 'm an Anglican and all the moral teachings I learnt while I was growing up are still there till date. While I was seven, I was a member of my church choir . I attended an Anglican school, Archdeacon Memorial Grammar School, it's a convent school. I'm quite religious

With such shocking experience, what would you say life has taught you?

I' m a bit stronger and wiser now than before. I have known how not to get involved in anything emotional again. If you are emotional even in a relationship, you don't get to think. One shouldn't allow her emotion to overrule her sense of reasoning.

I have understood what it means to be patient to persevere and also, to be careful with people around me. If somebody around you is your very good friend, you end up finding that the person is actually an enemy in disguise. I have learnt all of that because I have been alone. While my marriage was intact, I was not keeping friends. After I'm through with my work, I usually retire to my house. But since I'm alone, and having to mix up with a lot of people, I have realised that I have to be very careful and free-minded and at the same time, be myself.

In the midst of all these challenges, what would you say has kept you going?

I'm a very strong woman, and open-minded. I know who I am. I'm a Godly person, but I'm not a perfectionist. If I do something wrong, I will always find a way to show remorse and repent of whatever sin I might have committed. That has kept me going. I'm highly determined and focused. I do not go by what people say about me ious.

How did you feel when your father was murdered?

Every day that passes by, I think of that man. God bless his soul. He was the reason, I'm doing what I am doing at the moment. My late dad was a philanthropist. He would give out the last money in his pocket to those who do not have. I took after my Dad, whereas my mum was a career woman.

My dad ensured that his children were well taken care of, in all ramifications. He was a good cook and he spent greater part of his life in Germany. As far as I'm concerned, my dad was a German. He was always in the forefront of ensuring that his children were well catered for. But my mum was a career woman before she retired.

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