Trying Not to Hate Him & Saving It

Hi Brotha,

I'm a female in my mid-twenties and I was in a long distance relationship for about two and a half years with a guy I met in college. He actually worked there. It so happened that it did not last. Coming down to the end he told me he was sleeping with his 50- something year old therapist before me,during the relationship and after I ended it, because “he needed s*x” and I wasn't giving it to him. In addition he has had a “friend” who was pretty much “the straw that broke the camels back” in his last 5 year relationship with his then girlfriend. He still keeps this “friend” around because it's “his friend” and she was “there for him” when that relationship broke down.
Needless to say, I was very inexperienced in this relationship and it was very hard to walk away from.

I really want to hate this guy-but I've never hated an ex. as I think it only damages me in the end.I simply remove contact. I need some assistance in finding closure with this one as the amount of anxiety caused should at least make it easy right?

The issues here are:

The issue with this “friend of his”–lets just call her X, still bothers me to today.

Why after all this drama, is it still bothering me to let this go?–He still emails from time to time, but my responses have dwindled. While I'm not here to play the victim, I'm finding it hard to understand how, why , HOW could all this have happened. Are people really so heartless? I find all this extremely hard to digest given that the older woman and his “friend” at one point were both emailing me in attempts to “defend” and inform me of their going on's etc.

I also think the entire ordeal left a severe mark on my self-confidence and I need some advice as to how I can be assisted.

Sincerely,