Nollywood Blogs | 4 August 2011 19:15 CET

MEN AND INFIDELITY: What Have Women Got To Do With It?

By AMARA

Last Friday, I did an article on men and nude clubs. A good number of men appreciated that with some sending messages to tell me their reasons for visiting such places. This is why I decided to write this article to let the women know what men feel about us and why they do certain things. I hope you will find this helpful and do all you can to make your relationship thrive.

The first thing men said is that I should tell the girls who are strippers in those clubs to desist from that. They also said call girls who hang around to seduce men should be told to change. Although it is not all about the girls because I know a man who is disciplined will remain so even in the midst of those evil women, I also agree with men when they say that evil will leave the world the day women decide to let it go. If there are no nude girls at the clubs, there won't be men to watch them. But I am not here to address these girls but to help women get their men back into the house.

A guy sent me a message complaining about the wife who has no time to take care of herself. According to this man, he has gone out of his way to buy weight loss drugs and enrol her in the gym but she couldn't continue with any of those things. The woman has lost her waist line and there is nothing to desire in her again.

Ladies, this is very true. We need to help our men to become what they should be. Many of these men don't stay home, not because they enjoy it, but because there is nothing for them at home. You have eaten yourself to become another Yokozuno. After seeing the beautiful girls with different shapes and sizes (even the ones using body magic and fake boobs and bum), he is welcome at the door by a woman who has wrapper on and very dirty hair.

It doesn't end there; the man goes into the house to find everywhere smelling with the chairs scattered and the only excuse the woman gives is the children. She cannot even think of running water for the man to shower and then head to get his meal ready. The man gets out of the bathroom and calls for dinner himself only to be served a horrible one prepared by Ekaete, while the woman is in front of the television watching Desperate Housewives and Africa Magic.

Why won't the man go out when all he gets in the home is the children looking very tattered and unkempt?

You don't even bother to ask about his day, but you are too fast to pick his phone once he gets into the bathroom. What are you looking for in his phone? You are going to meet with your heartbreak in that phone because even when the man is not doing anything, girls are there to send some crazy text messages to him.

Maybe you work with your husband in the same office and this has led to his losing dozens of businesses. You don't allow him to attend to his female business associates and even when you do, you make sure the woman gets a message through your eyes. Madam, that business is for your upkeep.

Some pastors' wives are not left out here; many female church members have left the church just because the pastor's wife walks in very low self esteem. Some of them come to the altar to profess love for their husbands, not because they are truly in love with him, but to get at some female worshippers. Mummy, I hope you profess that love inside the bedroom and not just in the open because what you do is put the man through endless tears at home and then come to deceive church folks.

There is a way to talk to a man and appeal to his conscience. Run away from friends who tell you to fight him and create a scene. When you go on fighting the man and raining hell and brimstone each time he comes home, he will do all he can to avoid coming home until he is sure you are fast asleep.

I know a man who currently does not sleep in the same room with his wife. He has even packed his things to the pent house just to have peace. There is nothing as damaging to a relationship as nagging. It is better to live on a roof top than with a nagging wife in a house.

I never believed this to be true until one of my workers told me her experience with a woman I know very well. Some women use sex to get money from their husband. It is only a weak man who can succumb to that kind of blackmail.

According to my staff, this woman will allow her husband touch her without dropping money. I told my staff that no matter how spiritual a man is, he will go out and get as much as he wants from the numerous willing ladies out there.

Even without you asking for money, you keep giving excuses each time the man comes near you. If it is not leg today, it is your period tomorrow. The moment you get into this style, the man devises a way to handle you. My people say that the moment a bird decides to fly without perching, the hunter also starts shooting without a break. If you think denying him sex is painful to him, please think twice, there are girls with better bodies out there and they are ever readily available for him.

Groom yourself inwards and outwards; go and learn the art of body care because that is one thing that will ever keep the man attracted to you, but this shouldn't take the place of character. Allow some air into your hair to avoid having the man sleep with his face on the wall instead of some cuddling.

I hear people talk about men with good and beautiful wives, but who still go after other women. I agree with you to an extent because there are dogs in the form of men. But I also know that some of those ladies who are extremely beautiful may not be knowledgeable when it comes to taking good care of their body. Being a real woman is very demanding. Some of them, even with the whole beauty, are coaches when it comes to nagging. Some also cannot even wash their feminine part very well and so the man runs away from the odour that oozes out during sex.

Well, I just have to stop here for today. Next week, by God's grace, I shall answer questions that I have not handled through e-mail and sms.

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