Bonding behaviours don't operate on words or logic but on specific cues and signals, which are activated by both parties.

Experiment with the following to adopt a different approach to your sex life.

• Gaze into each other's eyes for two minutes-more difficult than it sounds.

• Kiss with lips and tongues.

• Cradle or gently rock your partner's head and torso(This works well on a couch, pillows).

• Hold or spoon each other in stillness.

• Make wordless sounds of contentment and pleasure.

• Stroke with intent to comfort, especially feet, shoulders and head.

• Hug

• Touch and suck nipples/breasts

• Gently place your palm over your lover's genitals with intent to comfort rather than arouse.

• Make time together at bedtime a priority.

• Have a gentle intercourse.