Whether you’re a newlywed or a veteran spouse, here are 10 marriage commandments that will help you stay in love, deepen your connection, and bring peace to your household.

1. Thou shalt show respect
Every individual deserves respect. In a marriage, it is never appropriate to demean your spouse, and physical violence is never ever acceptable in any relationship. If your marriage is disintegrating into squabbling and fighting, remember that sometimes it’s better to be happy than to be right.

2. Thou shalt be affectionate
The quickest way to pep up a marriage is to throw in a little love. Just being in close physical proximity to your spouse can take your relationship from meh to marvelous. Hold hands, kiss your spouse goodbye and hold on a little longer when you hug.

3. Thou shalt communicate
Your spouse has a lot of wonderful qualities, but he or she has never been and will never be a mind reader. Chances are, your spouse wants to give you the world, but you’ll have to tell him or her what you need. Own your feelings and be honest about emotions.

4. Thou shalt forgive
Be generous and forgiving when your spouse makes a mistake and your spouse will be more quick to forgive your indiscretions.

5. Thou shalt be kind
We have a mantra in our house: kind words, soft answers. Think back to how you spoke to your spouse when you were still dating and aim to keep that kind communication throughout your entire marriage.

6. Thou shalt be appreciative
Make a conscious choice to let go of little annoyances and devote more mental energy to thinking about all the things you love about your spouse. Your spouse does a lot for you; let him know that you are appreciative.

7. Thou shalt be loyal
Adultery is the quickest way to kill a marriage. Protect your marriage by avoiding the slippery slope toward infidelity. In our world of constant contact through cell phones and social media, keep all your interactions innocent. If you’re not sure if your behavior is appropriate imagine how you would feel if your spouse was engaging in the same behavior.

8. Thou shalt find balance
Cultivate friendships and hobbies that complement but are not dependent upon your marriage. At the same time, spend quality time with your spouse every day. You’ll be a better spouse if you are a well-rounded person.

9. Thou shalt be honest
It’s never OK to lie to your spouse, even if the lie seems inconsequential at the time. No good ever came from lying.

10. Thou shalt make decisions together
All major decisions, including jobs, homes, children, and how to spend money, need to be agreed upon by both parties.