In The Closet | 6 October 2014 08:46 CET


Source: Rita Okoye/

Just few days ago, I went to an event. City People Magazine's Political Awards presentation to be precise. I was so carried away by the beautiful and colourful setting of the hall. The serenity was so welcoming.

I had barely seated when a guy already well positioned close to my seat, said 'Hello”. At first I couldn't believe what I perceived, well maybe someone farted mischievously, I murmured to myself.

Few minutes later, he dared to ask me to pass him the magazine I was holding so he could flip through. Poor me! I didn't hear him clearly, thanks to the noise coming from the live band set right beside the stage. I waved to him that didn't understand his request. Chai! He drew a little close to whisper into my ears. Ha! So sorry to say, but meeehn! That was the worse mouth odour I have perceived in my life time. For the next 5 minutes, I couldn't breathe again. I held my breath for so long that I almost choked.

How I survived with him sitting next to me for the two hours the event lasted was indeed a miracle and a story for another day.

Seriously, this is not a laughing matter. The guy breath smells like one who ate soured beans garnished with rotten egg, then used gutter waters to wash it down.

It is indeed so painful, because this same guy would have a girlfriend (or girlfriends) that he kisses and romances and even makes love to, so how come she or they are not complaining or have even proffered solution his irritating mouth odour. Nawaaoh!!!

I am still wondering when our young men and women would read, learn and practice the good things they read on papers and online.

If both the young and old men of nowadays would take come personal hygiene lessons from some prominent people, who are over conscious of not just their personal

hygiene but that of his immediate environment, especially now that the fear of Ebola is the beginning of long life.

I could vividly recall that last week, top model turned actor and TV presenter Uti nwachukwu who is also well known to be very outspoken hammered on same issue.

The Delta State born handsome dude calls a spade a spade. He recently shared his countless experiences with people with offensive odours, both his friends and other top celebrities. So you see, no be only ordinary people oh, celebrities have the body odours.

Believe is or not, Yes! A quite a number of us smell. Be it body or mouth odour but it has become a threat to social existence in our society because some of you are so selfish and too wicked to bother about personal hygiene.

My dear sisters, let me ask you; how many days do you wear your panties and Bra? 2 weeks? 7 days or more? Why so much love for black inner wears (pants, bra and singlets)? Or are you in a confraternity? Maybe Black Bra. Or simply because you can't maintain a white or colourful ones? Com'on, ladies how long do we wear our hairdo, wigs or even the supposed Brazilian? Until moths, lice or even maggots start falling off the hair?

Now, how about our private hairs? Why not shave at least every two weeks? You would enjoy every bit of how comfortable it would make you feel.

I have heard the story of a very fine, sweet, sexy banker who oozes bad breath because she doesn't know how to clean her tongue after brushing teeth. Do you also need a manual to learn how to brush your teeth and tongue twice daily?

Some guys and ladies bath more than three times daily, but do they douch (for the ladies). I mean, sparingly dipping your hands inside your private part and washing without reserve.

Deodorants and Roll-ons are very cheap and accessible. You mustn't use designers perfumes to smell good. You can still do that with local good sprays around.

Can you touch her armpit with your fingers, smell it and smile at yourself that you smell good? If not! Then you need to do some home work on your self.

There's no harm in trying. Try it and see. Remember it always begins with you.

Just like the Igbos would say, Onye mara asu, ya suo na Ikwe, onye amara asu, osuu na ala. Meaning, let those who have ears read, take the advice and put them into practice. Chikina!

© 2014

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