Touch Of Thoughts | 5 June 2011 13:42 CET

Would you forgive a married lover who lied he is not?

By Florence Amagiya

I know that this is partly my fault for loving him wrongly and blindly. How could I have thought that he was honest when most men tell lies at a drop of a pin? Why should l believe a man who claimed he is squatting with his friend, yet none of his clothes are in the friends place? A man that won't allow me visit his friend's place except he is there. A man who leaves the room whenever he wants to pick a call?

I met John at a friend's wedding and we clicked at once. He seemed very reserved like a worldly- wise man who was already bored of every thing and my heart went out to him. We chatted and exchanged numbers. He didn't call me for two weeks and hearing from him when he did was pleasant.

So we met and our meetings became regular. He confided that he was having serious accommodation issues that he had moved out of his apartment because of his landlord's wahala. Now he is squatting with his friend until when he is able to get a place.

We started dating on that note. I go to his friend's place and he sometimes comes to mine. It got to when he was even spending the night at my place. It was on like this until that fateful evening I sent him an sms asking about his health and well being. I also told him that I was missing him and that I was wondering when I could visit him. He didn't reply my sms, but he called later to ask who was sending him a text and when I replied that it was me.

He said I was harassing him and asked if l was not aware of him being a married man. And advised that I should stop worrying his line and life…

This is what our Stars and Nigerians have to say

Walk away Benita Nzeribe, Actress: The man is a cheap person and cannot go far in life. How can a man because of what he wants from a lady lie about his family? Yes, the girl in question would not have dated him if he hasn't lied, but it is better to tell the truth and not get what you want from the lady and still remain friends with her than to lie and you are hated at the end. We should all know that the world doesn't stop here. There is more to life than hurting people around and looking at your back because you are scared. My candid advice to the lady is forget him, he is worth nothing. Move on with your life, you will surely meet someone who will appreciate you as a person and love you for real.
Pay him back… Cynthia Ohwofa, Cosmetologist: I won't just walk away from a guy who betrayed me; I will make sure he is made to pay for that lie and betrayal. Maybe, by chance he has being doing that to women and he is being getting away with it. In me he has met his match. Next time, he will look well before he acts. I know that vengeance is the Lord's, but I think if he should be made to pay for his intentional acts
Worthless … Treasure Nwigwe, Actress": If a man does that to me, l will be sad. I will blame myself because l brought it on myself. If l had not dated him, he won't have had chance to do that to me. I will be wiser the next time. God on the other hand will fight for me.
Won't forgive-- Chioma Nwaoha, Sociologist: It won't be easy for me to forget but at the end of the day one has to forgive and move on with her life. It is also shameful that married men still go about with this act, because they are not only hurting the single women but also hurting their spouse. This should also be a lesson to women as well, because we should all be able to do our own background check on any man we plan to involve ourselves with. For me, I will be hurt but I will have to forgive him and move on with my life. If l am asked to judge the case here, I will say it is totally the woman' fault, because how can a woman date a man that she doesn't know anything about? And even if she said she met his friend, did she ask questions? Why did she allow the man to come to her house? Eat her food; sleep with her in her house? In fact, she is myopic and must learn from this mistake and move on.

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