•’Being a single parent with three kids is a bitter/sweet experience’

By Benjamin Njoku
Nollywood Director and former Executive Assistant, Creative Entertainment and Tourism, under the Senior Special Assistant to former President Goodluck Jonathan on Youth and Students Affairs, Dickson Iroegbu, has been separated from his wife, Efe, for six years now. And since the separation, Iroegbu has had to live with the reality of playing the role of a father as well as a mother to his three children. He shares his story with us even as he says he has no regrets becoming a single parent.

Experience as a single parent
It's an experience better imagined than experienced. Of course, it sets you backward a bit, but then, if your trust is in the Lord, it will only be a matter of time and you will get used to it. Six years is almost gone since my marriage to my wife crashed. It's been a bitter-sweet experience.

Coping with the situation
Positivity is my drive. As a creative person, it takes lots of energy to handle heartache, but we must soldier on. I may have failed as a husband once, but I have never failed as a father to my children. My marriage crashed six years ago, but it is not the end of the road for me. I am still very eligible to remarry.

Who to blame for the crash of marriage
There's no one to blame here, it just didn't work between us. I mean, we are two adults, and we both made a choice to opt out of the marriage because of what you call irreconcilable differences.

Memorable moments shared with ex-wife
Whatever I shared with my ex is personal, I do not want to discuss her.

Gains and losses of being divorced
There is no loss, because we are blessed with wonderful kids, so our focus is on them. Personally, the gain may be the liberty to be myself.

Relationship with women after married crashed

My relationship with women has been here and there. If you ask me, 'na who I go ask?' My brother, the truth is that I have learnt to see women as special creatures of God.

Reconciling
We tried to reconcile but it never worked. So we are just friends and equal parents to our children. I will surely remarry someday. I will not remain single, because it is not good for a man to be alone. I am still under 40 years. One day, I will get married again.

Cost of separation
Both father and mother must stay committed to raising their children. It is not particularly the responsibility of one person. Whatever went wrong between two adults should never be allowed to affect the children. My children have access to their mother without any inhibition, and that is also applicable to me. They are our children, we are both responsible for them.

Train up a child the way he should grow, so that he will not depart from it. Every child deserves care, good education and the much required fear of the Lord.

Advice to single parents
It should not result to fighting if the marriage does not work. Stay as friends and take care of your children.

No regrets
I have no regrets whatsoever. I just learn to move on. It is not a crime to be a single parent.

Seven years of marriage
Our marriage lasted for 7years before it crashed. And we are blessed with three adorable children. I was less than 26 years when I got married. And why I go married at that age? I honestly cannot fathom why. But one thing I desired most at that time was to be a father. I knew I would make a great father, so I wanted to enjoy that pleasure in my exuberant age.

What marriage means
It is not a relationship you endure, you enjoy it naturally. Marriage is a union between a man and a woman.

Why marriages crash
Major factors to marriage crashes are mostly foundational. It wouldn't be a forever marriage if the foundation is on falsehood. Life is not like in the movies. Marriage is a natural reality show scripted by God Himself, who is the Supreme Director.

Meanwhile, permit me to say we are celebrities, all of us. You just haven't activated your rights to honest mistakes yet. Truth is that celebrities are usually maligned by the media, so I completely disagree with that assertion. We are flesh and blood. We make honest mistakes in life.